


show me the feathers you've found, the glass on the ground

by Anonymous



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Drug Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Mild Smut, Multi, Na Jaemin-centric, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29563023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: After Jaemin returns from hospital four weeks after his accident, more problems are already awaiting him. While he is still waiting for his injury to heal and finally be allowed back on stage, he and Jeno are having trouble balancing their new relationship with their lives and jobs.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Na Jaemin/Everyone
Comments: 11
Kudos: 45
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I try to post regularly and hope that you like the story! It's a little different than the first one but I had a lot of fun coming up with everything. 
> 
> English is not my native language, there might be a lot of mistakes, feedback is always welcome and highly appreciated.

_A black cat with a white feather in its mouth, as if she had just eaten an angel for breakfast._

She was the first thing Jaemin saw, stepping out of the hospital.

Carefully, Jaemin squatted next to her, reaching out his hand. “C’mere, kitty, kitty, kitty.” But before his fingertips touched her soft fur, her gaze turned hostile. She hissed and humpbacked, scratched his hand with lightning speed, and ran away as if stung by a tarantula. Dumbfounded, Jaemin blinked.

“Hey, that wasn’t very nice of you!” He blew on the stinging slight wound on the back of his hand and wiped off the blood, pouting. Apparently, not every living being appreciated being touched by the great Na Jaemin.

He rose from where he had been squatting on the ground and pulled his black leather jacket more tightly around him as he shivered in the fresh spring breeze. Life and colors were finding their way back into his body, skin, heart. Taking a quick glance at his phone, he checked thet time. _They will pick me up soon_.

He then brushed his hair out of his eyes, put on his cap, and strolled down the steps towards the street, hands shoved into his pockets; whistling a song to himself he had listened to earlier. Recommended by Taeyong and Jaemin had been listening to on a continuous loop the past few days.

The light of the rising sun blinded him as more of that golden disk appeared from behind the buildings, so he closed his eyes and tilted his head back, and deeply inhaled in the crisp air. Held it. Released. Opened his eyes again.

“Hello world, Na Jaemin is back,” he whispered, stretching and gazing up to the azure sky. Sunlight touched his cheeks, dipping it in gold, and a delighted smile blossomed on his lips.

The air smelled of rain, while inside the hospital it smelled of disinfection, humans and dead flowers. Never again should he have to enter this building.

_… and the cat watched him hidden under rustling bushes. Observing Jaemin, the cat’s whiskers twitched as if she were laughing at him and the sky above his head clouded over, darkening sun._

The white feather had fallen to the ground and got caught by the wind, brushed Jaemin in her wild dance, and got carried away, spiraling up towards the sky. A cruel glint twinkled in the cat’s eyes before she rose and cast him one final, long glance over her shoulder.

_Twice you have tempted fate. All good things come in threes, Jaemin._

Jaemin winced and looked around in confusion. His heart had suddenly started beating faster.

The cat left, but the strange feeling in Jaemin’s stomach stayed.

*********************

“Jaeminnie! Welcome back into the land of the living, my brave little brother!” someone called out. Jaemin turned to the voice and smiled as he saw his older sister running toward him, waving frantically, followed by his mom.

After they had given him a brief and warm welcome, family Na headed to Jaemin's favorite coffee shop for breakfast and settled in a quiet corner.

Leaning his head on his hand, Jaemin gazed out the window, observing life happening out there. A gentle smile played on his lips.

It was a busy street with people strolling down the pavement. Some sat in the sun despite the cold and enjoyed steaming coffees and tempting snacks, others were going to work or school.

Life here moved at a faster pace than inside the hospital. Still, it felt unreal to him. Four weeks he had stared at white walls and looked at the same faces day in and day out. It got him disconnected from reality. This city was restless, bustling, cramped. And he loved it.

The server brought their food and drinks and he took his elbow off the table, leaning back into the soft cushion of the couch.

“Are you comfortable, Jaemin? Are you in pain? Do you need your medication?” his mother asked him straight away, and he just shook his head.

“I’m fine. Perfectly happy.”

Caring as she was, she pushed the gigantic piece of chocolate cake over to him across the table. His eyes widened.

“Is that for me?” he asked, pointing his index finger back and forth between himself and the cake. That looked _delicious_ \- and this was how chocolate heaven on earth must smell like.

“You’ve gotten so thin, Jaemin,” his mother said with a frown.

“So ...the nurses let you go without a fight?” Eunji popped a piece of fruit into her mouth.

“Only after I promised to visit together with my self made chocolate cookies,” he smiled and took a sip of his strawberry smoothie, stuffing his mouth with a fork full of chocolate cake the very next second.

“Last time everyone had tears in their eyes and looked as if the sun was going to set forever. I’m positive the nurses are still mourning the loss of you to this day. “

“Stop that nonsense,” their mother intervened.

“Oh, come on mom, just look at your son, will you? He’s young, he’s hot, can dance, sing and is famous. Boys like Jaemin are like catnip to the ladies. I’m talking about facts here.” She crossed her arms and leaned back. “That he doesn’t even blush at these words shows this brat is perfectly aware of it!”

“Oh, keep talking Eunji, finally the good part is coming,” Jaemin said with a mischievous chuckle, lips twitching in amusement.

“Mom, be proud of him for once,” his sister continued, unperturbed.

“The ladies in the hospital have been decent and nice towards me,” Jaemin remarked in a calm voice and ran his hand through his hair. The roots were black, the tips brittle and blond. Yeah, he definitely needed a haircut. He looked like a bum. “But I’m just _thrilled_ to breathe the fresh air, to sit with you guys, and to be back on stage, together with my friends, soon.”

“You mean in a minimum of two months. Are you sure you don’t want to return home with us?” his mom asked, studying his face with a concerned look.

He became serious, tensed and shook his head. “Yeah, it ... it would just feel like _that_ time again. Everyone’s there to take care of me. And I can always go to NCT 127 dorm if I get lonely and want cuddles.”

His mother blew out a heavy breath, but Jaemin was stubborn.

That’s when his cell phone buzzed. A wave tingled through his entire body, from his heart to the tip of his fingers, seeing who had sent him the message.

It was from Jeno. A text of what they were up to today with an attached photo showing everyone in the van on their way to dance practice. Sleepy, grumpy, and neither amused nor entertained that Jeno took a picture of them so early in the morning. Jaemin smiled. He loved his chaotic bunch.

“Love is in the air,” his sister purred, playing with the straw sticking out of her banana milkshake.

His mother’s eyes lit up. “Who is the lucky girl?”

“It’s just Jeno,” Jaemin brushed it off, annoyed, and immediately felt as if he had betrayed his friend. _It’s just Jeno_ was the understatement of the century. Jeno was the man he wanted to kiss till he dropped.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw two young girls staring at him curiously. Fangirls. “Is it okay if we leave?” he asked and restlessly shifted on the couch.

Following his gaze, his mother gave a small nod. “Of course, Jaemin. I’m sure you can’t wait to see your friends.” She got up to pay. As soon as she had her back turned to them, his sister leaned over the table. Humming and smiling, he looked up from his phone and put it aside.

“What’s up, sweet sister of mine?”

“Jeno is a great man,” she whispered.

Confused, he narrowed his eyes at her. “That he is.”

She put a hand over his and squeezed it. “I’ll talk to mom, so don’t worry.”

“You don’t have to,” he said, eyeing her skeptically. But she’d known for a long time that he didn’t just date women.

“I want to, though. I'll convince her, that love between the same gender is just as beautiful. Whatever relationship you guys have - I want it to work. You two deserve happiness. Trust me, I’ve had my eye on this for a while now, your face lights up whenever you’re hearing his name. “

“But we aren’t in any...any...” he trailed off, blushed, and hid his face behind his hands. “Gosh, why are you so straightforward?”

She giggled. “Cute.” Then her face turned serious. “Jaemin.” She paused, looked at their hands and squeezed his even tighter. “I love you very much, my brave little brother. My heart won’t take it if you’ll scare me to death a second time.”

The next moment their mother returned and they stepped outside.

“And you’re sure you don’t want us to give you a ride?”

He shook his head. “Jaehyun will pick me up in a minute.”

“Oh.” His sister’s eyes flashed. “Why don’t we wait until then, mom?”

“No, we’re going now. “

“How callous.”

“Such is life, my child.”

“Take care Jaemin. Don’t forget to text me every day.” His mother placed a hand on his left cheek and kissed the other.

Jaemin smiled. “I will.”

In her eyes, he was still the insecure, flaky teenager she’d released into a world outside of herself with uneasy feelings and tears in her eyes to enable him to pursue his dream. Jaemin knew that she often doubted whether she had made the right decision. Maybe another path would have been a better one for him? Because every time they parted, she asked him the same question. Today was no exception.

“Are you still happy, Jaemin?”

“Yes, I am. I truly am.”

His older sister pulled him into a careful embrace. Normally she’d have squeezed him until he was out of breath, but that’d send him straight back to the ER right now.

He was a tad sad as they left, waving one last time. But he was looking forward to finally getting back on track.

“Okay!” He straightened his shoulders and smiled radiantly as Jaehyun pulled up in his car and rolled down the window.

“Hey, pretty boy. Wanna go for a ride?” 

Jaemin laughed. “With the greatest of pleasure.”

*********************

They engaged in a harmless conversation to pass the time, Jaehyun kept him up to date on what had been going on lately. Jaemin leaned his elbow against the window, propped his head in his hand, and watched the vibrant streets of Seoul at midday while listening to Jaehyun’s gentle and reassuring voice. He had always enjoyed talking to Jaehyun and it helped ease the sinking feeling in his stomach that was growing stronger the closer they got to the dorm.

He was just laughing at a silly joke, Haechan’s new running gag, when his phone rang. Pulling it out of his pocket he looked at the screen. _Jeno_. His heart skipped a beat, and butterflies fluttered in his stomach. Well, Jeno helped to heal his pain better than any medication ever could.

Jaehyun didn’t miss his reactions, but just smiled knowingly to himself, stepping on the gas.

“Jenooo ~ do you miss me? I was just thinking about you,” Jaemin greeted his best friend, all smiles.

 _“Hey Jaem. What a coincidence.”_ Jaemin heard soft laughter coming over the phone.

“To what do I owe the honor of your call?”

 _“I wanted to know what you were up to today.”_ In the background, you could hear music playing and Jaemin thought he overheard Renjun and Jisung talking.

Jaemin’s smile widened. “The usual. Lying around, counting the holes in the ceiling, flirting with the beautiful nurses and the nice handsome doctor...”

Jeno just hummed, shouting something to Jisung. _“I’m looking forward to tomorrow,”_ he then said.

“Me too. I missed you guys.” _I missed you, Jeno._

 _“That’s about as long as any of us will wait for our Jaemin.” Jeno went silent for a moment. “Wait, what ... what was that sound? Was that a car honking just now?”_ he suddenly asked, clearly confused.

“Oh, no, no, no, I just ... I’m at the vending machine and there’s this bratty, noisy kid. Oh, I gotta go, it’s time for lunch. I’ll call you tomorrow morning, Jeno. Take care, say hi to the others for me. You’re my all-time favorite Jeno.” _Well, that had been a close call._

_“See you tomorrow, Jaemin. Have a nice day. I… I mean, we’re eagerly awaiting your return. My all-time favorite Jaemin. Gosh, it’s embarrassing saying that out loud.”_

“See you then. I can’t wait.” He chuckled softly.

Jaemin hung up, an unstoppable smile lit up his face, and Jaehyun glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, smirking.

“Well, isn’t he great? The way he casually ensures that everyone is doing okay suits his personality so well,” he announced, waggling his brows, and had Jaehyun laughing in response.

They were just stopping at a red light and Jaemin was watching a cute little puppy clumsily wobbling along the sidewalk, as Jaehyun frowned at him, thoughtfully.

“You sure you don’t want to tell anyone you’re coming back today and not tomorrow?”

“Yes, it’s better that way. I know they’ll have dance practice until tonight. I can settle back in until then.”

“Still, you shouldn’t be alone,” Jaehyun expressed his worries. “I’m afraid I have another appointment, otherwise I would...”

“Jaehyun,” Jaemin interrupted him, “it’s okay, really. I’m okay.”

Jaehyun sighed in surrender. “But if there’s any problem, please call me right away.”

“I will.”

They arrived and Jaehyun parked at the entrance.

Jaemin had swung one leg out of the car when he hesitantly paused in his movements.

“Jaehyun?”

“Yes?”

“I ... I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while.” He fell silent for a moment. “I wanted to thank you for being there for Jeno when ... when everything was so hard for him on that day. It meant a lot, and I hope I can give you something back someday.”

“You don’t have to thank me. You’re giving enough by just existing, laughing, being happy. Don’t worry about it, Jaemin,” Jaehyun stated calmly and smiled.

“But- “

“No buts. Now hush, go, they need my presence at the studio, I’m a busy man.”

Jaemin grinned. “Pardon your lordship.” He got out and waved at Jaehyun, who winked at him in return, driving off to the studio. The second goodbye of the day.

Jaemin took a deep breath and tried to suppress the urge to make a U-turn right away. He turned around to face the tall apartment complex that cast its long shadow over him.

His fingers unconsciously came to touch the scratch wound on his hand. After a moment’s hesitation, he mustered up his courage and went inside the building.

_And far above the rooftops of Seoul, a lone white feather fluttered in the wind._


	2. Chapter 2

Jaemin stepped into their apartment, letting his gaze roam around the place. 

Nothing had changed in here, but somehow he felt like an intruder. Like when you returned home after a long journey and stood in the doorway, hesitating to step in, because the air was still familiar but something important was missing and you started wondering if all the events of the last few weeks were real and not just imagination. 

It was the simple fact of his friends missing here, filling the empty rooms with life, for the place to finally feel like home again. 

It's the strange smell of arriving - _and of burnt toast._ Jisung would never learn, really.

He then looked around the apartment, wincing every time the wooden floorboards creaked under his feet, for there were no voices to drown out the sound. 

Dishes were piling up in the kitchen sink, and he discovered a long shopping list on a kitchen counter with the heading "Nana's five-course menu by Jeno and Renjun (and 5% Jisung and 1% Haechan and 0.3% Mark, with a sad smiley scribbled next to Jisung's name).  
Tomorrow's day was marked on the "Cute baby animals"-calendar, which hung on the refrigerator, with a thick, red cross. As if everyone wanted to celebrate his hospital discharge as a second Christmas. Sweet. 

Turning around, he saw a vase with a beautiful, colorful bouquet sitting on the kitchen table, and, leaning down, stuck his nose into a large bright white flower, breathing in the sweet fragrance, so sweet that he could taste blueberries, strawberries and honey on his tongue.  
Jaemin's heart fluttered. _Is this for me?_  
The thought of his friends inside a lovely flower shop, picking out a bouquet together and bickering over whether they should rather take lilies or orchids, was quite entertaining, warmed him right on the spot and put a little smile on his face. He wondered what flowers Jeno had wanted to choose for him. Knowing Jeno, he probably would have just handed him one big sunflower.

The tension in his shoulders eased a little. 

Next he strolled to his room, where his suitcase already awaited him. Their manager had brought his luggage to the dorm before his arrival, but after the guys had left.

Jaemin knelt down and opened the suitcase, taking out the gifts he had made for his friends. It was a funny little story how he had made them: 

Because didn't enjoy eating alone and was stuck in the hospital, he had soon started hanging out with the nurses during lunch breaks, digging through their candy drawer and sneaking chocolates while listening to the daily gossip about who had been hooking up with whom in the infamous storage room number 5 on floor three, and, after being officially accepted into the women's pack, had even taken part in the betting to guess who was to get laid next. As his intuition always proved to be correct, he established a solid reputation in a short amount of time. 

Finally, he had coaxed his favorite nurse - which, in other words, meant all of them - into joining him in making friendship bracelets. Originally, he had had this idea to surprise Jisung and hopefully make him happy, but then made one for everyone. In Jeno's he secretly wove in another red thread, which he carefully hid. Their little secret. 

Like Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy combined in one person, he then sneaked into the rooms of his friends- simply because he _could_ and it was thrilling, being on an undercover mission - and hid the friendship bracelets wrapped in pretty little boxes under his friends' pillows, found something in Renjun's bed that he preferred not to look at too closely, wanting to preserve his friend's honor, and went back to the kitchen. 

Thinking about their reactions when they would see him again made his entire body tingle. Jisung would probably tear up, Renjun would act like he was a brave man but do a lousy job of keeping his emotions in check, and Jeno ... Jeno would let the two of them go first, gently smiling at him and waiting until he would peel Jisung off Jaemin and pull his best friend into a warm, long, comforting hug. Jaemin sighed and plopped down on a chair. He bit his bottom lip. _Why can't it be evening already?_ he thought, a little impatient, now, that he had this delightful picture in his head. So he texted his best friend, missing him way too much suddenly.

**Jaemin**

_Hey Jeno, how was dance practice? Are you guys already on your way back? Did you eat? Are you tired?_

**Jeno**

_Oh, by chance, I was just thinking about you. Yes, we're done for the day, but our hyungs have invited us out for dinner - free beef. Can't say no to that, can I? Johnny is in a generous mood, he will return home a poor, weeping man.  
We miss you here, Jisung is eating for two, thinking about you while stuffing his mouth._

Oh. Jaemin's heart dropped in his chest as his mind slowly grasped that this meant that their dinner tonight was cancelled.

 _Then, um,_ \- anxiously, he looked around - _now he would just .... he would just do …_

Jaemin sighed, his eyes staring blankly at Jeno's message as he spaced out for a second. Well, was his own fault after all. No one knew he was home. He had no one to blame but himself, so he had no right to be disappointed. 

The kitchen clock kept ticking above his head. _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock_. The only sound cutting through the silence besides his own breathing.

Agitated, he shifted on his chair, his hands clammy and cold, his heart pounding loudly in his ears and he raised the hand which was tightly clutching his phone to text back. The smile on his lips faded and was replaced by a slight frown. 

**Jaemin**

_Sounds good! Order the whole menu twice! Have a good time <3 ~_

He had to start over three times because he kept mistyping. His fingers trembled. Breathing had become a little harder, but he just swallowed those strange feelings down and stood up. _It's fine, it's fine._

For lunch he had only had a small snack, since he had assumed they would order takeout for dinner, but now he would have to cook something for himself.  
His gaze slid to the pile of dishes in the sink. Or ... Or just make himself some instant ramen. It felt like the consolation prize, but he reminded himself that the alternative option had been spending another night in the hospital and he concluded that his complaint was a luxury complaint. 

*********************

So, he made himself instant ramen - but ate little of it, because eating alone was not fun - threw himself onto the couch and texted with Mark for a while, admired Renjun's new avocado farm whose plants looked at him really gloomy, begging him to please end their suffering, but Renjun would strangle him in his sleep if he were to touch a single leaf, and then watched some show Donghyuck had recommended him. 

As he began feeling a little tired and cold, he strolled back into the kitchen and saw Jeno's favorite sky-blue hoodie hanging over a chair. Probably ready for the wash, but it was Jeno's. Jaemin's eyes sparkled. 

Leaning across the table - because he was too lazy to take the few steps around the table - a sudden sharp pain blazed through his chest. Wincing violently, he pulled his arm back, knocking over the vase of flowers. It fell onto the floor with a loud bang and shattered into dozens of pieces, water splashing across the floor, and among all the chaos lay the flowers, still beautiful, still colourful, but crushed and with most of the petals fallen off. _Broken_. Everything was _broken_.

Jaemin pressed his hand to his mouth and hot tears were welling up in his eyes. _No, no, no, these are the flowers they had wanted to give me, right?_  
They had put so much effort into choosing them and now he had it ... _had it .... just ... ruined ...it?_ He sniffled, heart pounding in his ears. _Okay, okay Jaemin, calm down_.  
Dizziness swept over him as the echo of the loud bang reverberated in his head, reminding him of something else. Of bright lights, heaviness, pain, but he forced himself to take deep breaths.  
__

__

_One. Jeno would tell him they were just flowers and that he shouldn't worry about it._

_Two. Jisung would storm out of the room on the spot and buy him new ones._

_Three. Renjun would comfort him and laugh at his stupid emotional reaction to lighten the mood so he wouldn't feel bad about it._

Still, it just wasn't the same, and they weren't here, and he was left alone to deal with it. So he should clean up first and apologize later, or just buy new ones and hope they didn't notice the difference. 

Jaemin knelt down on the floor, tried to save what could still be saved and when he cut his finger on one of the broken pieces. Cursing softly, he glanced at the cut and suddenly a tear dropped down, mixing with the blood dripping onto the white porcelain. Briskly, he wiped his wet cheeks with his sleeve, sniffled some more and bit down on his already quite chapped lip. Great, just great. The others would have to wrap him in cotton wool if he kept hurting himself every chance he got. At that moment footsteps and voices approached the apartment and you could hear a key being turned in the lock of the front door, loud laughter coming from someone, and Jaemin knew exactly whom this laughter belonged to. 

Jaemin panicked. 

He had to clean up this mess right away, save the flowers, mop up the water, pick up and throw out the broken pieces, he had to, _he had to, he had to, he had to, he had to, he had to ...._

The door swung open. Steps. Close. Close. Closer. They stopped.

"Jaemin?"


	3. Chapter 3

Within a heartbeat, Jeno was at his side. He knelt beside him, his body heat was brushing over Jaemin’s skin and Jaemin smelled leather and rain and security and the cold from outside.

Jeno was soaked, water dripping from the tips of his hair. They had left in a hurry, surprised by the heavy downpour.

“Jaemin, are you okay? Are you alright? Hey,” Jeno’s soft voice trickled into his ear.

Jaemin gazed at his fingers, which were clutching one shard tightly. He saw the broken pieces. The water seeping through the floorboards. The crushed colourful flowers, their wistful, sweet scent still lingering in the air, and he wasn’t yet ready to face reality just yet. 

This wasn’t how he had imagined this day. It was wrong, and he felt stupid, stupid that he was thinking this way. That he couldn’t smile it off as he normally did. Just why couldn’t he ...

“Nana,” Jeno repeated, calmer. A sound as if you were running your fingertips over smooth, dark velvet. Jaemin’s body melted upon hearing his voice, his knees softened, turned to water, his thoughts sifting through his fingers like sand. “I need to know this. Are you in pain?”

Dazed, Jaemin slowly shook his head. “No. No, it’s nothing, I ...” He sighed. “I’m okay.” His voice didn’t sound very convincing, he could tell. His jaw tightened.

Fingers took his chin, gently turning his face until he had to look at Jeno and Jaemin did, only reluctantly, but he did. The fingers dropped off.

“We’re back,” Jeno said, had to stuff that one sentence into Jaemin’s confused head by force.

Jaemin’s lashes lifted, he nodded.

With Jeno pulling him away from the broken pieces so he couldn’t hurt himself, Jisung and Renjun came to them, Jisung placed a hand on Jaemin’s back, Renjun laid a hand on his shoulder. 

Jaemin wanted to snap out of it and pull them into his arms with a big smile. But his body got paralyzed, his mind followed. He felt the urge to ask Jisung to dump a bucket of cold water over his head to slap him back to his senses.

“Alright, now show me your hand.” 

Jeno carefully took the broken porcelain out of Jaemin’s fingers and handed it to Jisung, the youngest boy still staring at them with big round eyes, ready to do anything his hyungs would ask him for. Always ready to help. Meanwhile, Renjun used his foot to push a sharp-looking shard aside and grabbed a flower that still looked intact.

Holding out his hand to Jeno, Jeno took it into his own, turning Jaemin’s hand, examining the cut, drawing in a sharp breath as he saw it was deep. Blood dripped from Jaemin’s fingers. 

“I’ll patch you up, this must hurt.” 

Jaemin remained silent. But, as he glanced at Jeno, a disturbing mixture of emotions flickered across Jeno’s face. He recognized them as a momentary rush of panic and anxiety, but as he blinked for a moment the expression had faded. 

With his uninjured hand, he squeezed Jeno’s until his friend was looking up. _We’re okay_ , Jaemin mouthed, finally putting a smile on his face for Jeno. 

Jeno returned it, exhaled a shaky breath and Jaemin’s cheeks grew warm at the sight of Jeno’s smile.

Then, Jeno’s arms cradled themselves protectively around Jaemin’s shoulders and he lifted him up as if Jaemin weighed no more than a kitten. His best friend guided him out of the room. 

Jaemin took one more glimpse over his shoulder; Jisung gave him a thumbs up and smiled like a real sunshine, Renjun was nodding, his gaze unwavering and reassuring, as the two of them cleaned up.

“I told you from the start that we should have bought red roses instead,” Renjun tried to crack a joke when he thought Jaemin could no longer hear him to banish the uncomfortable tension that was hanging in the air, but Jisung grabbed him by the arm.

“Renjun,” the Maknae whispered, his voice a warning. 

Jaemin’s time in the hospital had taught him to absorb every single word that drove the silence inside him away. He heard it. But it was fine. Nobody blamed him, nobody asked him why he had come home too early, why he hadn’t let them know. Everyone did his best to help him, and he didn’t know where to put his feelings.

While Jaemin sat down on the couch, Jeno knelt in front of him and opened the small first aid kit Jisung had handed him earlier.

Jeno rested a hand on Jaemin’s knee. Looking up, his eyes turned into friendly, endearing crescents. 

“Really, Jaemin. You’ve barely been here a day and you’re giving us trouble already. “He shook his hand, a thin smile on his lips. “I don’t know what to do with you.”

Jaemin just stared at Jeno’s hand, suppressed the impulse to put his own on top of it. “Sorry, that wasn’t the plan.” Embarrassed, Jaemin bit his lip as he always did when there were too many feelings inside him and he thought he was going to explode soon. “I surprised myself by doing that. I have untold talents.”

“I’m sure of that.” 

His friend pushed up the long sleeves of his black shirt, and Jaemin had no other choice but to stare at Jeno’s nice, muscular arms for a very chaste, quick second, while Jeno took a patch from the kit, still holding his hand. 

Jeno carefully wrapped the patch around Jaemin’s finger, but paused as he saw the ugly scratch at the back of Jaemin’s hand.

“What has happened here?” Jeno demanded to know, cocking a brow.

Jaemin shrugged. “I had a fist fight with a lion.”

“Do you miss the hospital this much?”

Jaemin pursed his lips, turned his profile to him. “No, I miss you more,” he stated in a low whisper and watched with satisfaction as the tips of Jeno’s ears turned red.

“Keep this up I’ll take you back before the two-week guarantee is up,” Jeno snorted.

Jaemin then raised his hand to inspect his bandaged finger extensively. His hand dropped back into his lap. “What if I resist?“ he asked, having officially recovered from his shock. Sometimes the cure was so simple. One word from Jeno and he was back to his old self. He felt silly that he had behaved so strangely some minutes before.

“Then I’ll pick you up and move you myself,” came the deadpan response.

“Oh.” Jaemin’s eyes flashed. “Try it,” he breathed, smirking. A dare.

Jeno snorted and leaned in close, Jaemin followed Jeno’s gaze moving over his mouth, and Jaemin licked his lips, so that they glistened, until their eyes met. He held his breath in anticipation. 

“How about...” Jeno drawled, his voice a dark whisper, and Jaemin had to lean forward to hear the words coming out of Jeno’s mouth. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple moving up and down at his throat as the grip on Jaemin’s knee tightened, fingers digging into his muscles.

“Y-Yes....?”

“How about...” Jeno grinned. “ _... another time._ ” At that, he jerked back and flicked Jaemin’s forehead, causing the latter to yelp, and a second later Jaemin sniffled in a huff.

Before Jeno could stand up, Jaemin grabbed his wrist, holding him in place. “You don’t have to hold back Jeno,” he frowned at his friend.

Jeno’s sighed, reached out and his thumb caressed the silver moon-shaped scar next to Jaemin’s temple. His gaze turned distant for a moment as he recalled the old memories he was being reminded of.

“You were crying because you dropped some flowers, Jaemin,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Yes, because ... because, well,“ Jaemin sighed. “I was just assuming that they were for ... maybe ... they were a gift for me. I treasure every single gift you will ever give me. “

“Hm... and what about _maybe_ they were _mine_. Now, I’m the one who is very sad and devastated. I guess you’ll have to buy me new ones, first thing tomorrow.”

“Idiot,” Jaemin snorted. That’s when his eyes sparkled. “Oh, oh, wait, is that a date?”

Jeno smiled at how lively Jaemin was getting. 

“Tomorrow, just you and me.” He paused for a moment. “...and dear Renjun and Jisung and Haechan and even Mark. We all got time off work. Disappointed?”

Jaemin raised his brows. 

“Why should I be? I love each of you equally.”

Jeno chuckled. 

“Sure, sure.”

Again, the fell silent and Jaemin just watched Jeno as the latter closed the first aid kit. Something had seemed strange to him.

“You weren’t that surprised to see me. Don’t you have questions?”

Jeno faltered and avoided looking at Jaemin. He sighed. “Jaehyun told us.”

Jaemin huffed, looked back at his hands and turned them in his lap, saw the patches. He still felt the touch, a slight, pleasant, fading burn, Jeno’s fingers had left on his skin. 

“Why am I not even surprised,” he murmured. 

“Because he’s a good hyung and knows what’s best for everyone,” Jeno stated matter-of-factly, putting the first aid kit aside, and smiled reassuringly.

Jaemin pouted for a moment, but winced as the pain in his chest returned. A steady throbbing. Annoying, but he couldn’t ignore it. He hadn’t taken his medication yet, and the effects of the ones he’d taken at noon were wearing off.

Jeno immediately noticed how he had grimaced for a second and laid the back of his fingers against Jaemin’s cheek.

“You should get some rest,” he decided. “Are you in any pain?”

Jaemin sighed, allowing himself to lean into the touch, closing his eyes for a second. “A little.”

Jeno nodded. “Where’s your medication?”

“In my room. I’ll get it in a minute.”

“I’ll bring you a glass of water.” He went silent for a split second. “Jaemin?”

Jaemin raised his head and their eyes locked. “Yes?”

In a flash, Jeno leaned down and took his lips. 

Rain, leather, warmth, Jeno, heat flooded his senses as their skin touched and Jaemin’s stomach dropped, his heart fluttered, like riding an elevator but way too fast, only that it was much more exciting. He kissed back, slowly, carefully, tenderly. His entire body was tickling, tingling, grew warm, so wonderfully warm from head to toe.

Their lips parted and Jeno’s face hovered in front of Jaemin’s for a moment. Jaemin, still too surprised to even blink, could feel Jeno’s hot breath against his lips and gazed into Jeno’s eyes. 

Jeno’s eyes were twinkling with amusement, a mischievous flint in them. 

“Welcome home, Jaemin. That’s what I wanted to tell you.” 

He grinned, straightening up while tousling Jaemin’s hair and left the room.

Jaemin lifted his fingers to his lips, touched them while still trapped in some kind of daze. Jeno was playing this game far too smooth for his taste by now. He had to watch out.

But there were so many unanswered questions, it made him feel dizzy just thinking about it.

It felt right, but it put much at risk. It wasn’t something that affected only the two of them, but the entire group. Their love was still small, but the problems it entailed were so, so huge.

Life was complicated.


	4. Chapter 4

Jaemin awoke from one of his nightmares. 

The cold crept into his bones, making him shiver, and a drop of water tickled from his temple slowly down to his chin. Cold sweat. The one that let you see that your soul bled in silence.

Taking a shaky breath, he came to an inner standstill as irritation swept through him. The shadows on the walls remained quiet, he wasn’t drowning in silence and it confused him.

Usually it was fear whose heavy odor embraced him like cold cigarette smoke whenever he opened his eyes.

But this time, it was different.

This time, the scent of leather, of rain, of sweet mango shampoo greeted him. The tip of Jaemin’s nose grazed a warm chin and leather, rain and shampoo turned into the body of Lee Jeno, snuggled up to him.

Silver moonlight fell on their silent silhouettes and kissed Jeno’s hair, keeping him safe in his dreams, wrapping him in a silver blanket. At his waist, the comforting heat of strong fingers seeped into Jaemin’s skin.

A small fire sparkled in his chest, and his affection for his boyfriend made him reach out. Gently, he swept Jeno’s hair out of his forehead. Jeno’s steady breath hitched for a second, and his eyelashes fluttered.

“...tickles,” the moon child murmured, and his eyes gradually opened. Their gazes met and a beautiful smile blossomed on Jaemin’s lips.

Groaning, Jeno blew out a breath and a second later his arm muscles tightened around Jaemin’s waist, pulling him closer until their bodies pressed against each other. 

“You should sleep, Nana. This boring thing ordinary humans do at night.”

Jaemin’s fingers ghosted over the edge of Jeno’s jaw, grazing the sensitive spot just below his ear. Jeno winced. 

“Hmm ... I’d rather watch you sleep.”

Jeno grabbed Jaemin’s wrist and Jaemin’s fingers dropped. 

“This wasn’t a suggestion, Jaem.”

“You’re lying in _my_ bed,” Jaemin huffed.

“So what?” Jeno arched a brow. “Your bed, your rules?”

“Possibly. I am fond of the sight,” Jaemin purred. “The way the look in your eyes changes when we’re alone - I like it. I want more of it.”

“I’m trying my hardest.”

Jaemin chuckled, his eyes flashing mischievously. “To please me? Well, we’re no virgins here.” He freed his hand from Jeno’s grip, who immediately let go, not wanting to hurt Jaemin. Jaemin’s fingers glided across Jeno’s throat and closed around the nape of the older one’s neck. Jaemin leaned in. Jeno’s breathing picked up speed.

“That depends on how you look at it,” Jeno countered.

“Maybe we’ll try touching instead of staring once I can no longer hear my ribs cracking with every move.” Jaemin kissed Jeno’s jaw, lips brushing teasingly slow over skin, indulging.

Jeno’s expression darkened. 

“Jaemin.” A warning.

“We have to talk about it without hurting too much,” Jaemin said, serious now. Jeno turned away from him, flopping onto his back, leaving Jaemin with cold, creating distance. Distance Jaemin did not tolerate, and he laid a hand on Jeno’s chest, Jeno’s heart beating beneath his fingers. 

“I know you showed consideration for me in the hospital. But I also know you have pictures in your head, keeping you awake at night. Don’t think you can fool me.” Jaemin took a deep breath. “You’re tired.”

Jeno kept silent, gaze drifting over Jaemin’s face as if he’d wrote the answer on it. He sighed. 

“It’s the same nightmare, over and over again.” He closed his eyes. “On good days, I save you. On bad days-‘’ Jeno broke off, placed his hand over Jaemin’s on his chest and intertwined their fingers. There was a hard lump in Jaemin’s throat as he saw the pain in Jeno’s eyes, along with the reflection of the moon.

Twigs tapped against the windows. Wind rustled outside.

“Yet in all of your dreams, you try to save me. In none of them do you just stand idly by and watch,” he whispered.

Jeno’s hand tightened and Jaemin moved closer until their shoulders touched.

“You know, I’m glad nothing happened to the rest of you. It may sound stupid, but I’m glad it hit only me.” He saw Jeno clenching his jaw, eyes staring fixedly at the ceiling. Jaemin snorted. “I know that’s not what you want to hear from me.”

“No, it’s not,” Jeno admitted. “But I know what you’re trying to say.”

Jaemin nodded slowly, thankful that Jeno would not argue with him on the subject. “I didn’t tell anyone. I’m scared as hell of being on a stage again. But we shouldn’t talk about it at three in the morning.”

He pulled the blanket over Jeno and dropped on his back, staring at the same dark spot on the ceiling Jeno was probably staring at right now. Jeno turned his head to look at him. Bringing their hands to his lips, he planted a kiss on the back of Jaemin’s hand. 

“Agreed.”

“Where do we go tomorrow?” Jaemin asked.

“You surprised us, now it’s our turn to surprise you.”

Jaemin groaned. “Don’t remind me there.”

“I’m honestly afraid that tomorrow you’ll slip on a banana peel, tumble into a hole in the ground, and vanish, never to be seen again. We’ll end up finding you at the North Pole, legally adopted by a family of polar bears who I’ll have to wrestle to get you back.”

“I’m impressed by your imaginative abilities.”

“Do you want to know what else I often fantasize about when my worries don’t center around you?”

Jaemin shot up, sliding over Jeno’s chest in a flash until he straddled the latter’s hips, only a breath of thin fabric separating their skin. The corners of his mouth twitched. 

“Tell me.” 

Disheveled locks fell into Jaemin’s eyes as he leaned in and cupped Jeno’s face, planting a soft kiss to his nose, then drifting down to Jeno’s mouth, tongue grazing his lips. Jeno’s breath caught and a deep blush spread across his cheeks.

“Stop that, Jaemin. You are a weak, wounded man.”

“I’m just kissing your tiredness away.” Jaemin shifted in Jeno’s lap and the latter’s thigh muscles tensed. Jeno suppressed a low curse, murmuring can’t help it then. He grabbed the back of Jaemin’s neck and carefully pulled him closer until their lips touched.

“ _Hyung_?”

Their eyes flew open, and they froze in mid-action.

A drowsy Jisung stood in the doorway, rubbing the sleepy dust from his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I realized I need writing to relax and escape my boring life c:


	5. Chapter 5

... “ _Hyung_?”

Jaemin’s body reacted by instinct and kicked Jeno out of his bed. Jeno caught himself with his hands, groaning as he painfully bumped his tailbone. He shot Jaemin a look that said more than a thousand words.

Jaemin was sorry, okay? He’d make up for that slip of his leg later. But making out in front of the baby of NCT? Out of the question.

“Jisungie, what’s wrong?” Jaemin asked, stood up and took Jisung’s hand, deliberately ignoring Jeno, who rubbed his back while getting back to his feet, grunting.

Tears glistened in Jisung’s lashes and the younger one lowered his eyes. Jaemin’s gaze softened, and he wrapped an arm around Jisung, holding him close. Jisung shrank in size, was a small kid in Jaemin’s hug, and leaned against Jaemin without a word.

“It’s okay, Jisungie.” Jaemin squeezed Jisung’s hand. “Look, Jeno had nightmares too, that’s why he’s here.”

Jeno came up to them and ruffled Jisung’s hair, exchanging a concerned glance with Jaemin over Jisung’s head. Sighing, Jeno patted Jisung’s shoulder. “That’s right. I didn’t want to be alone.”

“I’m sure my bed holds room for three people. Come on, you’re getting cold.” Jaemin guided Jisung to his bed, Jeno was closing the door, and Jaemin and Jisung lay down in Jaemin’s bed in a tight embrace. Jeno followed shortly after and settled behind Jaemin, wrapping his arms around both of his friends. Jisung, tucked under Jaemin’s chin, started sobbing.

“There, there,” Jaemin murmured, running his fingers through Jisung’s soft hair in comforting strokes.

Jisung cried himself to sleep, Jaemin whispering sweet nothings into his ear, while Jeno nuzzled Jaemin’s neck and buried his face in Jaemin’s hair.

As they both drew deep, regular breaths, Jaemin knew they had fallen asleep. Exhausted, he sighed and touched his ribs. The pain was back. The medication should have stopped it. But this time, it had only dulled the pain and made him dizzy.

If his friends weren’t sandwiching him peacefully asleep right now, he would have gotten up and taken another one of his painkillers, but there was no way he was going to wake them. They needed their sleep to function. So he distracted himself, enjoyed the company and warmth of his friends, and waited for the night to pass.

*********************

“Good morning, Hyung!” Jisung came rushing toward Jaemin, beaming with excitement, as Jaemin shuffled out of his room. Jisung’s loud voice shot spears through his head and he winced, but forced a smile to his lips. Crooked, but a smile.

“Jisungie.” Jaemin looked at Jisung. “It smells like someone made breakfast.”

Jisung nodded eagerly. He must have slept well despite his little breakdown. “Yes, Renjun is making pancakes!”

“Oh, pancakes,” he said. “That sounds _great_.” Jaemin’s stomach turned. He desperately needed to stop this pain that was hammering in his head. Right now, he was miserable. Shouldn’t it be his bones that ached and not his head? Strange. But the doctor had said migraines might occur because of his concussion. They should be gone in a few weeks. 

“I’ll just take a quick shower and then join you, alright?”

“We’ll wait for you with breakfast, hyung.” Jisung laughed and strolled back towards the kitchen. 

Blackening out for a moment, Jaemin pressed a hand to his cramping stomach and had to lean against the wall for support himself as his leg muscles shook from fatigue. Okay. One painkiller and the world was back to normal. He just had to get it into the bathroom where he was storing them. No big deal.

The ten steps to the bathroom were ten steps too many. The air still smelled of Jisung’s mint shower gel and irritated Jaemin’s gums.

Fingers trembling, Jaemin popped a painkiller onto his mouth and bent to the running stream of water in the sink to swallow it with some liquid. He looked in the mirror and wiped the water off his chin. 

Everything was going to get better now. What would not get better, however, were the dark bags under his eyes.

He sighed. An extensive amount of concealer would certainly do the job.

About five minutes later, the spearheads in his skull had dulled to needles, and he showered, got dressed, and made his way to the kitchen to join the others.

This time he gave a genuine smile as he observed Renjun drawing a cat on Jeno’s pancake with Nutella, and Jeno nodding in approval.

Hearing Jaemin approaching, Jeno looked up and smiled at him. Jaemin let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding and sat down next to his boyfriend, who patted his thigh under the table.

Jeno’s firm fingers gripping his leg warmed his entire body, making his skin tingle, and Jaemin bit down on his lip to hold back a grin as he recalled last night. Oh, well, he wondered what would have happened if Jisung hadn’t gotten in their way. He would find out. Definitely.

The other members (except for Jaehyun and Taeyong) knew nothing of their relationship. They might have an inkling, but no one had brought it up. First, they had to recover from Jaemin’s accident. They could worry about their relationship afterwards.

Meanwhile, Jeno and Jaemin tried to be as subtle as possible around other members. No one should be uncomfortable when they were together.

Renjun looked up and pushed Jeno’s plate with the Nutella cat across the table.

“Here you go, sir. A unique masterpiece, in taste and appearance,” Renjun announced.

“Hey!” Jeno pouted. Which looked hilarious, because it didn’t fit his character, but made him even more endearing. Jaemin’s heart skipped a beat.

If Jaemin hadn’t already been head over heels in love with Jeno - it would have pushed him over the edge for sure.

Reaching for the fork, he grinned at Jeno. ”I can cut the cat in half. Do you prefer left or right?"

The corners of Jeno’s mouth twitched. “Right.”

“Oh really?” Jaemin’s eyes widened. “Usually, you always choose the left side.”

Jeno’s grip on his thigh tightened, and Jaemin grinned like a Cheshire Cat as they engaged in a staring duel. Usually it was Jeno who gave in first, Jaemin was extremely persistent. Not only in winning stare downs.

But, just as today’s winner was about to be named, and it wasn’t Jeno, Renjun cleared his throat, stuffed a piece of pancake into his mouth, accidentally smearing chocolate sauce across his chin, and looked at Jaemin. “So.” He popped a strawberry into his mouth. Doing so, he looked like an aristocrat. “Are you ready for the best trip of the year?”

“More ready than ever.” Jaemin massaged his temples as his headache flared up again. Jeno eyed him suspiciously, but said nothing, and Jaemin rested his hand over Jeno’s on his thigh, squeezed it.

Renjun turned to him. His eyes flashed as if he were a magician, pulling the white dove out of the top hat. “We’ve come up with something special.” His gaze flicked to Jeno, and Jaemin glimpsed his friend’s blushing face. “Be curious. It will surprise you.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Jeno, the door is locked.” 

Renjun took a step forward and placed his hand on the arm of his friend, who was violently yanking on the recording studio's front door. 

Jeno shook his head, his grasp on the doorhandle being so firm that his knuckles turned white, as though he couldn't let go. 

Mark stepped up to Jeno's right and put his hand on his shoulder.

"The lights are switched off. No one is in the studio." 

Jeno clenched his teeth and lowered his hands, “No, it can't be.” He jerked backward, fingertips briskly brushing the rain out of his vision. “Taeyong made a promise to me.” When he pulled his phone from his pocket, his hand tightened around it. 

Renjun reassured, “It's likely something got in his way.”

Jeno turned around and shoved his hair out of his eyes, glaring first at Renjun, then at his screen.

Jaemin watched him quietly, slightly shaking his head, but Jeno avoided his gaze. Jaemin sighed, glanced at the sky, raindrops hitting his skin and he closed his eyes. Exhaled, slowly. Opened them.

Jeno dialed a number on his phone. A strange sense of nausea settled in Jaemin’s stomach as he saw Jeno’s shoulder’s tensing, his chest rising and falling in shallow breaths.

Seeing Jeno getting this upset was number one of things Jaemin hated, and it only happened when Jeno got extremely overwhelmed or guilt-ridden. In 99% of the cases, Jaemin was the reason for his outbursts of emotion.

But right now Jeno had no reason to get worked up. Jaemin didn’t think for long, walked over to Jeno, took his shoulders and peered into his eyes.

“Jeno, it’s fine. It’s fine. Whatever you’ve prepared for me, it’ll still be there tomorrow. There's no need to be upset. I had to wait weeks to be released from the hospital. I'm willing to wait another day for the big surprise.”

His fingertips brushed over Jeno’s cheeks and Jeno’s head slumped down to his chest. 

“No, I-” Jeno’s jaw set and he balled his hands. “Today should’ve been your day. I want to see your face when you listen to what I’ve-” Jeno sighed and ran a hand over his face. He shook Jaemin’s hands off. “Nevermind.”

Again, Jeno created distance and hurt Jaemin. Jaemin, on the other hand, smiled at him, his hands trembling in his pockets. He stepped back as Jeno tried to call Taeyong a second time, but got no answer.

“Let’s go back to the dorms, the weather is getting shitty anyway,” Renjun decided. “I’ll make you something delicious for lunch.”

“Taeyong better have a good explanation for this,” Jisung mumbled.

“Jeno.” Jaemin reached for Jeno, but his boyfriend avoided his touch, and tried to call Taeyong a third time. “That’s enough. You’ll catch a cold,” Jaemin urged with a frown, but he got no reaction out of Jeno. 

Jeno’s gaze dropped to the ground.

“I wanted to make you happy today,” he whispered under his breath.

Jaemin’s heart grew heavy, and he bit his lip. 

“It’s fine, being with my friends today is already enough to make me happy. Let’s take it slow,” he sighed. “It’s not your fault. I will be just as happy about it tomorrow.”

Gingerly taking Jeno’s hand, Jaemin ran his thumb over Jeno’s wrist, feeling the strong pulse against his finger. Jeno’s gaze fell to where they touched, but he stiffened and withdrew his hand in a flash as a dog walker passed by. 

The warmth disappeared.

 _Ah, right_. Jaemin had forgotten they were in public.

“Sorry,” he whispered quickly, ignoring the sting in his stomach. 

“The cab’s here!” Jisung cut Jeno off as he was about to answer Jaemin and Jeno closed his mouth, reconsidering. Then he just walked off.

A heavy lump lay in Jaemin’s stomach as he stood there, confused by Jeno’s behaviour. Hesitantly, he joined his friends and stared at Jeno’s back. 

For a moment, he even forgot about the rain.

*********************

“It was Jaehyun’s fault.”

“Hmm?” Jaemin looked up from his phone in confusion and placed it on the couch where he was lying on his stomach, munching on chips and Renjun’s homemade cookies.

Mark sighed and sat down next to him, his fingers smoothing out the wrinkles in the blanket Jaemin was wrapped in.

“Taeyong’s schedule had been packed. He had to go with the manager to an appointment.” Mark leaned forward, intertwining his fingers, and sighed. “He told Jaehyun to call Jeno, and Jaehyun forgot because he was at the gym with Johnny and lost track of time.”

“Oh.” Jaemin sat up. He looked at Mark, whose forehead was in deep wrinkles. “Did you tell Jeno?”

Mark shook his head. “It’s not a thing that I look forward to.”

Jaemin freed a hand after some struggle and rubbed Mark’s back encouragingly. 

“You don’t have to. Leave it to me.”

*********************

“I need to talk to Jaehyun. He can’t be serious. Jaehyun, out of all people?”

Jaemin followed him as Jeno walked towards his room, kicking the door open, frantically searching for his phone.

“No, Jeno, please calm down and talk to me. Right now-“

“I’ll sort it out.”

Jeno’s chin trembled slightly. The last time Jaemin had seen him like this was when he had kissed Jeno for the first time in the kitchen.

“Jeno, wait!”

Just as Jeno was about to pick up his phone, Jaemin snatched it out of his fingers. He stepped back until the edge of the bed bored into the back of his knees. His chest rising with a heavy breath, Jaemin slipped Jeno’s phone into his back pocket. His expression got serious, Jeno’s got just sour, as if he had swallowed a whole lemon. If Jeno could just _listen_ to him, if he would just tell Jaemin what was on his mind right now-

“What are you doing, Jaemin?”

“Damage control,” Jaemin let out a small sigh and forced a half-smile. “There’s no need to make a big deal out of it. I told you I’m not upset, so it’s better if you waited to call him until you- “

His breath caught in his throat.

Suddenly Jaemin’s entire body went ice cold. The ground beneath his feet shook, his vision blurred, blood rushed in his ears, and his heart raced in his chest at breakneck speed. He had to sit down, he had to ... His stomach was _churning_.

Jeno leapt forward and grabbed Jaemin’s arm as Jaemin’s eyes rolled back and his knees gave way.

*********************

Only a couple of heartbeats later, Jaemin opened his eyes again. He blinked, blinded by the light hanging off the ceiling.

Jeno’s face hovered above him, tears and fear swimming in his eyes. Wrapping his arms tightly around Jaemin’s shoulders and pulling him into his lap, he held Jaemin pressed close to his heart.

Jaemin shook his head in confusion. 

“What...” he muttered, and Jeno’s hands supported him as he held onto Jeno and sat up in his lap. 

“Jaemin.” Jeno laid a hand to his cheek. “What- “

“I’m okay. Just a little dizzy. No pain.” His stomach grumbled like a volcano before it erupts. He didn’t lie, he wasn’t in much pain but he got incredibly nauseous. 

He pressed a hand to his turning stomach, felt his muscles cramping under his fingers, and leaned forward, trying to push Jeno away with a trembling hand as he felt it coming... _Oh, fuck_. 

Jeno grasped the situation, hoisted him into his arms, and raced to the bathroom just in time before Jaemin emptied his entire stomach contents into the toilet. 

“Fuck,” Jaemin groaned, hand gripping the sides of the toilet seat, and Jeno panicked, calling out for Renjun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is really messy and by no means elegantly written, but I had to go on to avoid writer's block. I hope you still like it, I'll try harder on the next one.


End file.
